Things You Thought You'd Never Hear

I never thought my daughters would stop being babies. I was totally pleased with them as toddlers and elementary school students, and now the youngest of the three is at 6th grade camp. Although I never expected it, I like it now that they're older. I like them.

I had an after school snack with Gabi at the local mid-eastern restaurant (lentil soup, spinach pie and baklava). We talked about our days: she rode the bus and smelled like her seat partner, she's busting her instructors' chops at Wayne State University and she told a great story in which a male friend got a tour of the WSU campus, was freaked out, got back to his car to find it being actively violated by a thief and is now transferring to Oakland instead.

Gabi told me that my divorce from her father was less of an issue than I think it is. Then why has it me hurt so bad to "wreck" their lives? She intimated she was acted pissy for the past 10 years because she thought she should.

I still worry that I will misuse my mother-power and traumatize my children. Then the realization hits me that they aren't children. And maybe Gabi never was. Maybe she was just pissy because I didn't, from the start, recognize her as the companion she is today.